


Sehnsucht and Sapphires

by LayMeDownToSpace (IGotTooMuchLove)



Series: Gems That Connect Us [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Blade of Marmora Keith (Voltron), Can be seen as: Platonic Keith/Lance (Voltron), Can be seen as: Romantic Keith/Lance (Voltron), Canon Compliant, Child Death, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feelings, Gen, Keith (Voltron) Angst, Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, Keith (Voltron)-centric, Minor Character Death, Non-Canon Relationship, POV Keith (Voltron), POV Kolivan (Voltron), Post-Episode: s04e01 Code of Honor, Season/Series 04, Slightly Pinning Keith (Voltron), War Crimes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-12
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-06-09 11:01:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15266079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IGotTooMuchLove/pseuds/LayMeDownToSpace
Summary: He took out the small deep blue stone out of his pocket and looked at it. When Keith collapsed the rock fell out. A rare gem which was found only on that planet. Most people would pay lots of GAC for a tiny piece of it but the girl gave it to Keith like it was nothing. Kolivan knew that the boy probably didn’t know the true value and meaning behind it. No, he just knew that it was important to the people and tried to refuse taking it. Maybe he would tell Keith the meaning behind the gem someday. For now it was only a small gift of gratitude to Keith.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sehnsucht is "longing", "pining", "yearning", or "craving", or in a wider sense a type of "intensely missing". However, Sehnsucht is difficult to translate adequately and describes a deep emotional state. Its meaning is similar to the Portuguese word Saudade, or the Romanian word dor.
> 
> If you have read Sausade and Tanzanite, then know that this fic was written around that time but never finished. All upcoming seasons or their info is ignored here.
> 
> Not beta-read. WE DIE LIKE MEN, PEOPLE.

When the door behind him closes with a silent hiss, Keith barely realizes what he's doing. He understood what was happening but it seemed like his brain wasn't giving a decent reaction to all of this. The boy could see that he was walking towards the hangar where the evacuation pods and shuttles were but the connection between his brain and legs was lagging at the moment. Keith didn’t really know what was happening but understood that he should be reacting to the current situation in a different manner. Everything felt like a bad dream however Keith knew better. This was reality.

Walking away from the team had been the last thing that he had ever wanted to do. No, he never even considered it as an option but here he was. Leaving the people who became a surrogate family to him? Keith didn’t want this but he cared too much for everyone. He knew that the team needed a better leader. Somebody who wasn’t a reckless hothead. Lance had been right about him having a bad temper. He had been right about a lot of things. The others and him should have paid more attention to what the current Red Paladin had to say.

Keith knew that neither Black nor Red had been his to pilot from the very beginning. He had noticed how everyone else bonded better and quicker with their lions. Lance had been a good example. At first Blue, then Red accepted the boy. However, Keith's connections with Red or Black had always felt... forced. Also, he didn’t want anyone important in the team to be left without a lion. He didn't really bring anything back to the team's table anymore after he got more involved with the Blade of Marmora.

As he moved through the corridors, the former paladin’s mind was clouded by emotions. 'Sadness' wasn’t even the start. It wasn’t even a small speck compared of the pool of negative emotions that he felt. Disappointed, crushed, depressed, abandoned. For a moment Keith even wanted to think that he was betrayed as well but… No, that wasn’t it. This was his choice. Nobody forced him to do this. This was all him.

This emotional state reminded him of the year in the desert. Shiro had been reported dead on the Kerberos mission; got himself expelled from The Garrison when officials had lied and tried to take matters in his own hands. ‘Disciplinary issues’ his ass.

However, this was so much worse than the year of solitude. It was worse than anything that he had ever experienced before. Worst of all, Keith could blame only himself.

_Admit it. This is what you wanted,_ thought Keith and sighed. _They’re going to be safe with Shiro in charge._ _If anything goes south, Lance and Allura will keep the team stable._

Keith had hoped that everything would be alright while he was away with the Blade of Marmora. He had expected that everyone would understand. Yet, the looks on their faces had told a different story. Keith had messed up.

Allura had every right to be mad and lecture him. He accepted that tone. Pidge and Hunk had the right to look angry. He barely contributed to the team. Shiro's look of disappointment hit him hard. Keith had expected something from the man but... Silence had been worse than any lecture he had ever received from Shiro.

Keith had been glad to hear that Shiro became the Black Paladin again. Yet, he didn’t feel happy about it. Not completely. His mind kept on nagging, telling that something wasn’t right here but the ex-paladin ignored it all. He didn't have the luxury to start doubt or listen to a hunch that most likely was wrong. Despite everything, Keith just wanted his team safe and happy. Even if he wasn't present to witness it.

Keith had hoped that maybe the team would say something, argue with his logic. Lance would have said something because they couldn’t ‘razzle dazzle’ at the show thanks to him. However, he got only silence from the paladin. Nothing. The current Red Paladin barely looked at him. Was he that angry about him not being with the team that Lance got nothing to say? Then again, Keith had hoped that maybe Shiro would try to stop him, give a reason to stay, but it had almost seemed like the man was happy to see him go.

_‘If that’s what you feel is right, then we won’t try to stop you.’_

Keith wished that they did. Oh how he wished that the team stopped him on the observation deck. When Allura had left the castle for a few minutes with him, thinking that one of them or that they both had been the reason for Zarkon being able to track them, Shiro had been more than demanding for them to return. He hadn’t just asked them to come back but ordered it. Keith could only wonder where the Shiro that he used to know had gone. He felt like something had changed in the man when he disappeared right after defeating Zarkon.

This wasn’t the same person that he had said goodbye before the Kerberos mission or who had fought by his side against the Emperor of the Galra Empire. Shiro had been like an older brother to Keith however now he seemed more of a stranger than anything else. Maybe he truly was respectful with his choices? Maybe…

_They just don’t need me anymore._

Keith stops in front one of the lined up escape pods. This eerily reminded him of a few instances. One of them being when he had been about to go on a suicide mission and Allura had tried her best to make peace with him. Keith knew that the only difference this time was that he wasn’t returning. Nobody's there to stop him.

_‘Who am I going to make fun of?’_

Lance's words echoed in his mind and Keith thinks for a tick that they will be the only 'thing' that he's going to brings back to Marmora headquarters. Not the tearful goodbyes from Pidge and Hunk, not Allura’s words of encouragement on how he's going to make them proud but their sharpshooter’s attempt to make light of the situation. He appreciated that the most. They left a small mark on him. No, if he was honest with himself, Lance's words meant more than Keith dared to admit.

However, that simple rhetorical question also hurt him. It wasn't _what_ Lance had said that affected him but _how_ he said it.

_‘Who am I going to make fun of?’_

Keith felt an uncomfortable tightness inside his chest. He didn't want to think about this anymore. Yet the ex-paladin almost wanted to believe that his former second-in-command seemed sad, maybe even worried. During the months when he had been piloting the Black Lion, Keith had felt like they were becoming friends. Maybe even best friends. Truth to be told, he never had anyone to call a best friend. All the missions they had together, kind of, forced them to work better as a team without having any time argue about things. Keith  would be lying if he didn't say that he actually enjoyed those moments.

_‘Who am I going to make fun of?’_

Now that Keith really thought about it, he couldn’t remember a moment when Lance had made fun of him. Well, at least, not after becoming the Black Paladin. Lance would add his snarky two cents but Keith had always appreciated the feedback on their teamwork. Helped him to improve and make less stupid decisions. Even when Keith messed everything up, the other would encourage fixing the problem together in a calm tone. It had been the last thing he expected from his team mate but he had appreciated the support.

_Together,_ thought Keith and let out a hollow laugh. With every step that he took towards the pod, the boy felt the small smile that he kept in front of the team turn into a painful grimace. Thinking about the boy made his eyes started to sting and Keith hung his head low. Lance could have been a reason good enough for him to stay if the paladin had actually said anything.

_‘Who am I going to make fun of?’_

A single tear rolled down his cheek. His resolve taking a hit but Keith knew he couldn't let himself break down. Not while he was still in the Castle of Lions. The boy brushed it away with his gloved fingers and sighed. He wasn’t supposed to cry. This was just as bad as making that vlog entry that Coran had asked him a few weeks. Keith could hope that the Altean man wasn't watching him leave right now.

_‘Who am I going to make fun of?’_

Keith wanted to believe so badly that Lance asked him not to leave in his own way. He knew both of them were too stubborn to say what they honestly meant. It's easier to blame all of this on their made up rivalry. However, the boy realized one thing: he’s going to miss Lance's company and their small meaningless bickering.

_No, it wasn’t meaningless. Never meaningless._

_‘Who am I going to make fun of?’_

Keith felt a lump in his throat and the former paladin pulled his hood on. A mask appeared, hiding his face and for once the boy was glad of this particular function on his Marmora outfit. The wave of upcoming tears were about to break free and had to be kept hidden. At least, for now. Keith officially wasn’t a paladin of Voltron anymore. He needed to go.

Keith climbed inside the pod and turned on all necessary systems. He put in the coordination that Kolivan had given him and took control of the space craft. The castle announced the departure time of the pod and as it reached zero Keith flew out. Luckily the flight to the headquarters was only a few planets away.

_‘Who am I going to make fun of?’_

When he was far out in space and couldn’t locate the Castle of Lions on the pod’s sensors anymore, Keith let go of the controls and took off his hood and mask. He bit his lip so hard that he could feel it go numb and taste blood. The boy let out a sob that he had tried to contain since leaving the castle but everything was starting to become blurry from tears. Although he knew that there was enough oxygen inside the pod, Keith felt like he was suffocating. As he took a deep breath, the young Marmorite quickly checked all communication channels, making sure that none of them were open. His former team didn't need to know of his true feelings. It didn't matter anymore.

At the moment it was just him and the endless universe filled with solar systems, fogs, nebulae and stars. They won't hear him so Keith let out a scream as the young Marmorite hid his face in his palms. He quickly moved them away and slid around his torso, pretending that somebody was hugging or comforting him. Keith let out another scream but it came out soundless. At the moment all he could feel was the excruciating pain inside his chest and the hot tears on his face.

Keith knew that he needed to get his emotions in check. He knew that he didn't have much time to collect himself before Kolivan decides to question him at Marmora headquarters but he needed that release.  The boy thought it was better to release his bottled up emotions in space because then only the stars would know. They would be the keepers of his sorrow and secret.

The former paladin breathed deeply for a few minutes trying his best to calm down. He could still feel his heart hammering but it would have to do. Keith knew it was only from being overwhelmed, that it was nothing serious. He let out a shaky sign, closing his eyes for a few ticks before brushing the wetness from his face away. He was a mess at the moment but everything's going to be okay.

The young Marmorite decided to carry on only when he was certain that another breakdown wasn't knocking at his door and that his hands weren't shaking anymore. When there was just a slight tremble present Keith took back control of the pod and continued on his course. As he passed liberated planets, the boy tried to keep his mind empty from thoughts. However, the pain in his chest made matters a bit difficult. Certain memories of the team related to that planet would replay in his mind.

Keith had never known love. At least, not truly. He knew it in theory but not in practice. He never got much taste of parental affection since he never had the chance to meet his mother and his father had died during the job. The boy had been young but remembered how he had been dropped off at the nearest orphanage in Texas since Keith's dad didn't have any siblings or relatives that could take care of him. He had been alone until Shiro arrived.

The bond that he had with Shiro had been the closest to brotherly, familial love but... Keith didn’t feel it anymore. It just felt as if it was non-existant, like it had always been just a strong figment of his imagination and that only now he received a rude reality check to see that it hadn't been there to begin with. While everyone was a friend who he cared about and wouldn't be ashamed to give his life for them, Keith felt that over the months as Black Paladin, Lance hadn't become a true second-in-command. Although he made rethink decisions and gave sound advice but the became closest person to him. He dared to think that Lance was, in a sense, his stability. He was a kindred souls that understood what bothered him without telling out loud but maybe Keith had been wrong once again.

However Keith was sure of one thing for at the moment.

_‘Who am I going to make fun of?’_

He was heartbroken.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not Beta-read!  
> Enjoy

When Keith arrived to Marmora headquarters Kolivan noticed right away that something was different about the newest member of their order. The boy would still openly flare up in his face, state which mission details he disagreed on. However as phoebs passed by Keith started to become quiet. The usual hot temper was disappearing bit by bit and the man didn’t take it as a good sign. Even when Keith disagreed with something, the boy kept quiet. Body language was strong enough indicator to show the boy’s disapproval of something. Kolivan knew that the ex-paladin was mostly calm and collected but the silence was starting to become uncomfortable. There was tension and he could see the boy trying to hide. A few members even had voiced their observations to the leader on the matter. Most of them were females who still have, or had, families away from the order.

Kolivan knew that Keith would spend more the time on the training deck than in his bunk while not sent on missions. It was obvious that the boy felt comfortable being active. Also, he had remembered the Red Paladin mentioning to him that Keith used to spend a great amount of time on the Castle's training deck. That’s where Kolivan had decided to search for clues on what might be wrong.

The man had decided it was best to conduct his investigation while everyone was sleeping. The ones keeping watch or on a patrol would be somewhere else in the station. However to his surprise a few females of the order were still working out. He knew they had recently returned from a difficult mission and some of them had been injured.

“Ochra, you should be resting in the med bay, not straining yourself,” said Kolivan stepping towards the woman fighting two bots.

“I’m fine, Leader,” said the woman smacking down one the bots with a kick. “Etri and Ushra are keeping all eight eyes of theirs on me,” the woman paused at her exercise. Her constitution and cat-like feature made her more intimidating than the rest of the members but Kolivan knew her well enough. “Still, thank you for your concern. Seems like our little _sikiav_ ’s human side has been rubbing on to you, Leader.”

The man could only sigh as the three women snickered at him. So he wasn’t the only one that saw Keith as a small kid. Although everyone was equal here, he let the females have their fun, especially the ones who were mostly send to recon and infiltration missions. A pissed off female colleague is better on the battlefield than at headquarters.

“We’re sure you’re here for something else than just to tell Ochra to take it easy, Sir,” said Ushra as she pulled her twin and Ochra by the arm. Without saying anything else, the three women felt the room.

The ones that still were on the training deck had been dismissed right away. A few other females exchanged confused looks with one another but didn’t question their leader and left. Kolivan saw that one of them was a member that inquired about Keith. Although she could have stayed with him, Kolivan wanted to check something specific on the training deck without interruptions.

When the man opened the logs on the main console, Kolivan went directly to Keith's profile. It didn’t give much information about him before accessing level five with a key word. The numbers had him raise an eyebrow. Even though Keith had recently joined the order, there had to be glitch in the system. What he was seeing had to be a mistake.

If his calculations were correct, the boy slept about four varga per quintant. Sometimes it would be only four varga in two or more quintants if they needed Keith on recon or longer missions. The varga spent on the training deck was concerning. Kolivan had little knowledge about the human physiology but the amount of varga spent resting couldn’t be considered healthy. That amount wasn’t healthy even to Galra. Now he understood why so many members came forward.

_‘What was he doing?’_ wondered Kolivan as he checked the footage of Keith’s last training session. The recording was dated today and was three varga long. He sped halfway through the footage seeing how Keith did target practice with both his hands one at the time. Strangely enough, his throwing technique reminded of a member’s who hadn’t reported in for some time. Then he fought three training bots which the boy defeated in less than ten doboshes. After that, other members of the order had started to appear in the footage one by one. Moving towards the end of the video Kolivan saw that Keith had been against nine members. Although all of them had their masks on, he knew who those people were. All nine had been the ones that had reported to him about Keith.

Under normal circumstances this would be ignored since it was normal to train with other members of the order no matter how many training partners somebody decided to take on. However Keith was still new and considerably younger than the others. Before Keith, Regris was the youngest among them but even back then he wasn’t acknowledged as a _sikiav_ , a child. Nine big sized members against a ‘child’ wasn’t considered normal and had to be reported.

The leader of Marmora stared for some time at the boy in the video. From Keith’s posture it was obvious that he was barely standing. There was a possibility that he had been bruised and maybe even injured by someone’s blade during the training. Kolivan decided that he would have to check the med bay’s and the healing pod’s data as well to see if he patched up the any damage. However, what caught his attention was the fact that at no point during the training session, especially when against his fellow Marmorites, as he had heard the Red Paladin call them once, did Keith activate his blade.

For some reason that made him think of the mission when the boy had saved Regris. He had broken protocol but also found holes in it. Kolivan couldn’t do anything else but acknowledged the points that he had given him. Unlike most of the people in the order, Keith didn't view the mission's objectives in black and white. The boy managed to be flexible and see the different shades of grey that could turn the situation of the mission in their favor.

When Regris had perished in the explosion, he had noticed how Keith reacted to it. Although the order didn’t have the luxury to mourn or have an absent mind every time they lost a member, everyone could see that the former took it to heart. Keith had known the deceased approximately for a phoeb but mourned him like he knew Regris much longer. Kolivan found the practice strange since every person in the order knew what they had signed up for. He wondered if showing such emotions, both his hot temper and grief, had been a human trait in the boy.

The leader had remembered Keith saying something on one mission that got him thinking. Maybe the order should rethink the ways of the Galra that had remained for thousands of years. Maybe they should change ‘victory or death’ and ‘mission over individual’ for once and think the way Keith did.

_“All life is precious. Doesn’t matter if it’s the enemy or our allies. Better to disable than kill.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 should be up soon.
> 
> Thank you for reading.  
> Comments are always appreciated :D


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter actually made me change ratings... This story was supposed to be G and stay G but... well, shit.  
> I hope you enjoy it!  
> Not beta-read. We die like men, people.

As soon as Keith fell into his small bed in the bunk, the young Marmorite realized just how sore his arms and back were. He was starting to think that maybe he was taking things a bit too far on the training deck. However Keith was trying to convince himself that pain wasn't an indicator for him to stop. Well, actually it was but he tried to ignore the uncomfortable feeling as best as he could. Keith knew he had to be in top shape because mistakes and incapabilities weren't an excuse and most likely lead to an early death. The order's numbers were already too few and he still wanted to see the people he considered family again.

Just when he thought that napping for a few doboshes wasn't such a bad idea, the boy got a message on his private comm channel. It was coded but Keith had stayed long enough to understand what it meant. This time it was 'priority mission'.

Keith got up and left the room. He knew that the debriefing will be on the observation deck. It had always been either there or on the shuttle while on the way to their destination. Come to think of it, he rarely got any priority missions since Kolivan mentioned that his temper and inexperience got in the way. He just hoped that he could prove the man wrong this time and that nothing bad would happens on this mission.

\---

"There had been rumors that the Empire's military funds have been steadily increasing although their occupied systems and planets were being liberated by Voltron and the rebels," said Kolivan opening a hologram. "At first it was believed that the data had been faked to raise morale among the Galra troops but the numbers are true. Our inside source says that in the meantime activity to and from planet Laiqxira, which is geologically rich, has increased."

Kolivan opened a report that he had received from their spy and looked at all the members in the room. He knew that some of them had just returned from a long-term assignment, others still haven't regained their strength and were healing, and then there was Keith. As phoebs had passed, the leader had to admit that he was starting to get worried for the boy. Although Keith joined them to find out more about his Galra heritage, the boy was overworking himself and it was starting taking its toll. Kolivan could see it from his posture. The young Marmorite stood like he was in pain. The man even considered ordering Keith to rest for a few quintants since the numbers on the training deck's logs were increasing. However he needed the boy on this mission, just for today.

"The Galra have been mining rare gems called Laiqxitrum that are important to the planet's inhabitants for cultural and religious reasons. Since the gems are found specific areas on the planet, the black market pays hundredth times its real value and finances the Galra military. Most of the Itsujun warriors, who had been forced to mine and give up the findings, have quietly been put under the influence of drugs to keep them from rebelling," told the audio report. "There's a-"

"There's a base near the biggest mine on the surface of the planet," said Kolivan turning the report off. "We need to shut it down. However, there's one thing you need to know. The Itsujun are a violent race. It had been seven phoebs before the Empire took over the planet. Although they are being drugged we still don’t know how they will react to outsiders. My advice would be to avoid detection by both the Galra and the inhabitants."

Kolivan could still remember his first with the planet's natives. It had happened many decaphoebs before but seemed like it had been just yesterday. Back then he was just a higher ranking officer of the order and sent on reconnaissance to observe the planet. Galra activity had been reported in this solar system by their agents and Laiqxira was the only planet supporting life.

Although the Itsujun were a technologically advanced, they were very territorial among themselves. Kolivan learned that when he got in the middle of a battlefield of three different clans fighting. However when they noticed him, all aggression against each other was forgotten and they attacked him instead.

Kolivan knew that on that specific day he wasn't supposed to return to Marmora headquarters. He had been injured while trying to escape and had a problem stopping the bleeding. The man had found a small cave that he hid in and tried to patch up the worst of his injuries. Kolivan knew that time was limited until the side-effects of the pain-killers kicked. However he had fallen unconscious in the middle of sewing up a bullet wound. When he woke up, the man was in unfamiliar place.

The kindness of a few native children and an old shaman helped him to get on his feet, off the planet and return to Marmora headquarters. Back then he hadn't known why the Galra would be interested in the planet or its geology. He could only hope his words had been enough and that the female shaman had warned the clans about a possible invasion.

"Any questions?" asked the leader, returning back to reality and looking at the people he had gathered. Their silence was the answer he expected. "Good. We leave in two doboshes."

\---

"Team Four, I need you with Team Two and Three. Now," said Kolivan to Keith and the Twins through their communication channel. All three Marmorites nearly winced at the volume of their leader's voice. At this moment Keith wished that there was an option to adjust the volume of their comm channels.

"Negative, Leader," whispered Etri looking over from their hiding place. In a room below there were about two dozens of miners, a dozen of fighter bots and few guards. "We're in a position where we can't move."

"Some of the miners are being interrogated for an information leak that the Galra officials found," Ushra added. When they were moving through the ventilation shaft, heard how one of the guards announced why the workers were submitted here.

Although Keith knew very well that Kolivan said not to expose themselves to the Galra or the natives, they needed to do something. Moving from their hiding place was out of the question but to keep the guards away from the people they need a distraction at the moment.

"Etri, Ushra, give me your jammers and go," said Keith not tearing his eyes away from the man who was second in line to be interrogated. Compared to all the other people in the room, he looked the youngest. He probably was a teen by their standards. Since every single person went inside the room and didn't come, the Marmorite could only assume the worst. He needed to act fast.

"What? You're thinking on taking them out head-on? Alone?" whispered Etri holding Keith by the arm. The boy winced a little. It seems like he really overdid it on the training deck because her grip on his arm wasn't even strong. "They'll have pinned on the floor before you can say 'Marmora'."

"I did target practise for a reason."

\---

Unfortunately, his plan went to hell the second both jammers decided not to work. Keith managed to convince the Twins to go the teams that Kolivan commanded, so he couldn't even ask them to come back and save his young and inexperienced ass.

One good thing about his situation was that all of the Galra guards and bot units were now paying attention to him and not to the miners. However, if his arms were sore only a few varga ago, now he could barely hold them up thanks to the pain. Worst of all, the boy didn't have any kind pain-killers that he could use to ease it.

"Well, quiznak," whispered Keith biting his lip as he charged at the nearest three bots and cut them open. He could only hope that adrenaline would be enough to keep him standing and fighting. Keith could already see it. If he survives this, Kolivan is going to give him one quiznak of a lecture. It would be either about how he compromised the mission and put the miners in a serious situation or about reckless behavior and getting himself in danger. To be honest, Keith didn't give a quiznak about that at the moment.

He used one of the bots as a shield for bullets and threw his knife at the nearest guard when saw an opening. The blade hit the gun but not hard enough to make the galran drop it. As soon as Keith heard metal hit metal, he ran towards the guard and knocked him out in a matter of ticks. Another one stood a few feet away and met the same fate as his colleague. It felt like the fight took doboshes but he managed to do that under sixty ticks.

"Is anyone hurt?" asked Keith the nearest miner as he tried to catch his breath. When they return to Marmora headquarters, that nap is happening.

“No,” said a deep metallic but feminine sounding voice from his left. From the tone of her voice the boy knew that she was drugged. The rest of the miners seemed to be under the influence as well. “Who are you?”

“Doesn’t matter,” said Keith opening a map to see the layout of the base. He could see that he wasn’t far away from where the other teams were and could join them soon. The door behind him seemed to lead to outside. “Go straight through this corridor until you reach a tenth door or exit on your left,” said Keith loudly, putting a hand on the scanner and opening the door. “Get to somewhere to safety.”

At first the miners looked with distrust at him but started to leave the room. As the last person was leaving, they turned around and added, “There are still some of our people inside. Please... Help them.” Keith only nodded to that. There still were Galra soldiers inside the supposed interrogation room. He could only guess the number of them.

When he got inside, Keith nearly got a heart attack at the sight in front him. What he saw made him both furious and disgusted. This time the young Marmorite didn't consider whether to let any of the Galra soldiers to live or die. This very moment his goal was to take them out at all cost.

\---

"Keith? Do you copy?”

He barely realized what had happened. Just a few doboshes ago he was furious and saw red while taking down soldiers. Everything felt like a dream, like a horrible nightmare, but the boy knew better. However he got it done.

When the boy opened his mouth to report to Etri about his status, no sound left him. It was as if his body didn't trust him and Keith could see why. Blue blood was splattered everywhere. Corpses of the miners that had been invited for questioning and possibly their children were lying in a pile. Keith tried to keep it together when he checked the bodies. Everyone had been killed execution style. This room had been specifically designed to keep out all sound from the outside world. The men and women who had waited to be ‘questioned’ had no knowledge that their people were being killed in cold blood a few feet away. The Galra were known to be rootless but they just hit a new low.

"Sikiav…”

Keith really hated how people called him that. They wouldn’t explain what the word meant and say “you just are”. He was starting to think that maybe they were calling him a child. However that was enough to make him talk.

"I hear you, Etri," whispered Keith in hoarse voice. The boy felt like he had either been screaming or crying for hours. Truth to be told, he wanted to do both at the moment. "All bots and guard are taken out. There..." He breathed for a few ticks to calm himself down. "There are casualties. Adults and children."

"Children?" asked Ushra confused. "But we didn't saw-"

"No," Keith interrupted, "they were inside. We didn't know. I'm guessing they were used as bait to confess. Probably didn’t matter to them if it was a false confession. Tell Kolivan... that this base needs to be shut down as quickly as possible."

"Already done," joined in another voice. Kolivan sounded displeased but there was also something else in the man's tone. "Check if there any more children and release the miners. We're leaving the planet in thirty doboshes."

"Already released them but…Yes, Sir," said Keith. Normally he would have protested saying that there wasn't enough time and that there were still things that needed to be done. However, right now he was, in all possible meanings, drained. He knew that the image of this room will stay with him for some time.

\---

"Wait," said a small voice. Keith turned around and was surprised to see that it was one of the girls that he found and saved nearly twenty doboshes ago. If it was strange listening to the adults talk  but then the kid voices sounded like high pitched metallic pipes. "I want you to have this."

He didn't know much about gems, stones and other valuable rocks but what she held out to him looked a lot like a sapphire. At least, he thought that sapphires were that deep blue. Although there was a short course of Geology in the Garrison, Keith didn't pay too much attention to it.

"Thank you, but I can't accept this," said Keith, closing her palm around the blue gemstone. "I know they are important and valuable to you so I can't take it."

"You're not like them," told the young Itsujun girl pointing at the other Blade of Marmora members near the shuttle. "You're similar but more different than them. I feel that you need this." Without adding anything else she stuffed the blue gem into his hand and ran away.

Keith stood there confused for a minute. He just couldn't understand what she meant by saying that he ‘needed’ this. Also, she couldn't have known that it was him since the mask had been turned on. Their suits made them look all the same. Then again the others were either really tall or muscular. The boy put the gem into his pocked.

"Keith, be at rendezvous point in thirty ticks," Kolivan said through the private communication channel. The man was about twenty feet away and could just tell him in person but… oh, never mind. The Marmorite didn’t have the energy to question him. Also, Kolivan was busy speaking to an old woman who seemed important.

"Acknowledged," answered Keith in a strained voice. For once, he felt exhausted and just wanted to return to Marmora headquarters and rest for a varga or two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4 is be posted soon :D  
> Thank you for reading!  
> Comments are always appreciated and welcome


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter. Originally, this was supposed to be just 3 chapters but oh well.  
> [Fixed some factual mistakes in the previous chapter]  
> Not beta-read. We die like men, people.  
> Enjoy!

From Keith's long and deep breaths, Kolivan knew that the boy was sound asleep and wouldn’t be waking up any time soon. Before the team from the mission could reach the med bay to asses the damage that they received, Keith collapsed at the entrance. His vitals were average. High levels various hormones and sign of fatigue were detected in a lot of organs. However Keith's brain activity showed that the boy was dreaming. Exhaustion had finally caught up with him and knocked the young Marmorite out without mercy.

Seeing that no immediate medical attention was required, Kolivan personally had brought the boy back to the room that he shared with another ten bunk mates. He knew that there would be some discussion flying around, saying that their leader was going soft and coddling the boy but everyone knew that his was absolute. If he decided to bring Keith back to his bunk himself, then it was law. However Kolivan already informed the others, telling them that Keith wasn’t to be allowed on missions and the training room for a few quintants. Piled up exhaustion wouldn’t help with the success of future missions. Keith had been just lucky today.

As he put the boy down on the bed, Keith curled up in a fetal position. Kolivan had to wonder if that was his usual sleeping position or if the boy was cold. The suit was created to keep the person warm or cold depending on the surrounding climate and temperature. The suit couldn't be at fault here. However, compared to the other members Keith was small both in constitution and height. For a young human adult he was still small. To be honest, at this very moment Keith looked like a young Galran child. When Kolivan really thought about it, that's what the boy truly was. Just a sikiav among them.

Kolivan reached towards Keith’s face and deactivated the mask. Usually it deactivates automatically if somebody goes unconscious but the boy most likely programmed to keep it up.  However, it wasn’t recommended to sleep with the mask on because the filters were too sterile and over time would cause some serious problems to the respiratory system. Yet when he looked Keith’s face, Kolivan saw a small pool tears form in the inner corner of his eyes. When it became too big, some of the content ran over the bridge of the boy's nose. That only make Keith curl up more but the Marmorite still wouldn't wake.

Keith was still a great mystery to the order and to him. Kolivan had seen how the ex-paladin would look at his former team while they would call the Castle of Lions. Although he had been subtle with at who he was looking, the Red Paladin received the most attention. Kolivan knew that the boy yearned for his team even if he said that he didn’t. The boy wasn't too great at hiding sadness or lies.  Kolivan could only speculate that when Keith would be on the training deck, that's when he lets out his pent up emotions. At least, he thought to be the case but right now Kolivan didn't seem so sure. However while observing the ex-paladin, the man noticed one thing about him.

Keith would always come and talk to the people he had rescue on missions. The boy would check if they weren’t hurt and ask if he could help with something small. Keith had disobeyed his order about not encountering the natives of the planet. He couldn't have known what the outcome would be but still did it. It wasn’t their way, yet he could understand why most didn’t shy away or weren’t afraid to talk with the boy in general. Despite Galra blood running through his veins he looks were human.

Kolivan could only think about that small alien girl with her six green eyes who approached the boy. He had no doubt that she was one of the few children that were to be executed with a close family member but survived thanks to the orders intervention. Or more like, thanks to Keith’s disobedience. Kolivan had seen how she had given Keith a deep blue Laiqxitrum as gratitude.

He took out the small deep blue stone out of his pocket and looked at it. When Keith collapsed the rock fell out. A rare gem which was found only on that planet. Most people would pay lots of GAC for a tiny piece of it but the girl gave it to Keith like it was nothing. Kolivan knew that the boy probably didn’t know the true value and meaning behind it. No, he just knew that it was important to the people and tried to refuse taking it. Whatever the girl had told to Keith had left him standing still for a few ticks. Maybe he would tell Keith the meaning behind the gem someday. For now it was only a small gift of gratittude to Keith. After turning the gem in his hand for a bit Kolivan put it into the boy’s hand.

When the mission was over, the same shaman that he had met decaphoebs ago approached him. Her name for him (Space Sky) still amused the man but Kolivan didn't smile when she had looked at Keith and called him 'Young Bleeding Heart'. Although the Itsujun were considered a violent race, they could sense a person’s emotions without touching them physically.

"What Little Green Ray gave will help but not for long," he remembered the woman saying in her deep metallic voice. "Longing in this young one is too strong. Could make his heart actually bleed or create problems. You know that too, Space Sky."

She had explained to him that deep blue Laiqxitrum was usually given to the terminally ill or dying for solace. However it also for protection and for those, whose loved ones were either deceased or far away and out of reach. It was for the ones whose heart was feeling a yearning so strong that it could be compared to a cosmic storm and needed soothing.

 Maybe the little girl felt that yearning and gave that blue bauble because of it. Kolivan knew that Keith wouldn’t confess but the boy loved and missed his team. He wasn't meant to be in the order but they could certainly learn a thing or two from the boy.

Kolivan knew for certain that he could learn something important from sleeping boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this story!  
> Comments and reviews are always welcome and appreciated.


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